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Question: I just feel happy and stress relieved when i'm alone?

(Posted by: That's what she said. on 2010-02-22 15:16:07)

Since my mom passed away i've been wanting to be by myself alot. I do have friends and that but I just don't want to be around them- I dont get the same comfort with them then I do by myself. I also use to be around my little sister alot but I sorta am growing away from her which I don't like. Could someone just analyze this and could give me a guess as if im depressed or ill? Thanks.

Posted by: SZ on 2010-02-22, 15:27:56

Sorry to hear about your mother, friend. I lost both my parents a few years ago and it was absolutely devastating. First of all, I felt the same way. I just wanted to be alone. So I isolated myself from my friends and my younger sister as well. I walled up here with my two cats and wallowed in it. No one will blame you for feeling depressed. In fact, it is a perfectly natural reaction to such a tragic loss. But the truth is, even though you do not want company, you need it. Even if you just called a friend everyday or spent a few minutes sharing, that will be much better for you in the long run. Your sister lost her mother too, and she needs you. I know its hard to reach out, but our friends and family are here for these reasons. They will stabilize you, keep you in check, let them know where you're at emotionally. Just a phone call a day does wonders. The pain never goes away, but it does get better every day until you discover its tolerable. But until that day comes, we all need a little support.

Posted by: Sue-MA on 2010-02-22, 15:28:46

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how it feels. I've lost both my parents and brother. Don't worry. You are going through one of five natural stages of grieving. You are in the depression stage (not the same as clinical depression). You tend to pull away from people and don't feel like doing much of anything. Friends may step in and try to talk or try to get your mind off things. They may mean well, but this is a stage we all have to go through at our own pace. It's a time to reflect, adjust, find yourself in a world that has changed for you. It's a good sign that you are happy when alone. Trying to put on a front for others can be stressful. Give it time. The good news is the next and last stage is acceptance and moving on. When you reach that point you'll begin socializing again and you might find you and your sister will be close again, maybe in a different way, but things will be fine.

Posted by: Hopefully Helpful on 2010-02-22, 15:29:23

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. You probably miss her very much. It may feel easier to stay by yourself than to interact with people. Make plans to do something special with your little sister. You can still be close. Hopefully as time passes you will gradually start reaching out to others. Eventually you may start to feel lonely being by yourself. Best Wishes to you.